1. Body Worship
Bate culture celebrates bodies as they are presented. Armpits, nipples, feet, hands, balls, bellies… any body part can and will be shown off and worshipped.
Mainstream gay culture fixates on cocks, asses and ‘perfect’ muscled bodies, but bators have a wider palate. Body fetish runs deep within the community. Like when a bator is gooning — tongue out, drooling in sheer ecstasy — the mouth, tongue and drool themselves are a point of fascination. Balls and the way they bounce. Feet and pits are shown off. Nipples, hair and smells are all triggers.
But don’t be misled: it’s not about being ‘fit’, but about showing off proudly for each other. Called “exposing”, it’s about sharing our bodies as they are and turning each other on. All kinds of bodies and body parts should be celebrated.
2. Playful Edging
Why not make it last? Edging is about savouring every single bite of your meal. To be unrushed. To slow down and enjoy the experience of pleasure, to bask in its luxury.
Edging makes sex about the journey, not the destination. It’s playful. When edging with someone, you push each other closer and closer to the edge without crossing it. You ride the waves of pleasure together. Knowing that one touch can tip you both over. But you wait one more second to keep the game going.
In a world obsessed with rushing, to have fun savouring every inch of yourself and others, for hours, is a revolution.
3. cum-a
raderie
Compliments are central to the Bator community. Most bators will express gratitude and encouragement to anyone sharing their bate.
We refer to each other as “bro, buddy, stud, beast”, terms of endearment that create a feeling of warmth and closeness. Bators often hang out after we’re done playing. We connect, talk about our lives and become friends. These broad networks steer away from traditional relationship dynamics. We all play together and are happy to share our bate buddies.
Bating is never too serious. We allow each other to be goofy or silly, it’s about having fun together. When there’s no need to compete, sharing sexual energy in a friendly communal way can be healing and liberating.
4. Energy Flow
Have you ever experienced a state of flow? It’s what you feel when you dance and get lost in the music. You can feel it while running, cooking, swimming, painting…
Pleasure can also take you into flow, through masturbation or mutual play. By being aware of the sensations in your body, you can learn to let go and surrender. You’re in the zone. Your body goes on autopilot. Your consciousness takes a step back to enjoy the ride. You may experience a trance. A natural high. Some bators call it the “goon” state.
Knowing how to build up and harness that ecstatic energy with others is mind-blowing. The feeling of lightness and joyful bliss can be described as an “afterglow”.
