Welcome to Bator Sex. This edging issue presents the groundwork for the whole movement. To be unrushed and not outcome focused. To be curious in exploring your needs and boundaries. To connect with your body and experience pleasure with an intensity and duration you never thought possible.
The ideal sex icon has endless stamina. In a way, edging is that fantasy. But it’s not about endless energy. It’s rooted in pacing yourself, in knowing when to use and when to conserve energy. It’s about self awareness and boundaries, moving close to the line without crossing it.
Edging is defined as ‘prolonging pleasure’. In practice, it means the permission to orgasm only after conditions are met. Either you set them yourself or someone sets them for you. For example: In a cam bate scenario, you may decide to cum only after one hour and with someone who’s verbal. In a kink scenario, the Dom decides when the sub can cum.
There are many dimensions to edging: there’s extended self-pleasure, healing through massage, as kinky role play and many more. Here’s how edging changed our lives:
DoubleA: “I started camming when I was 19. My first boyfriend cheated on me over cam and it made me curious. I loved it. People enjoyed seeing me edge on cam, I received so much affirmation. But I feared meeting cam people in person and not living up to my cam performance.
In 2021, I met Nick in a Zoom room. He told me ‘you don’t even have to be hard, if you just sit there, everyone will still bate’. Slowly, I understood other people enjoying my cam wasn’t my responsibility. It was about my own enjoyment. Free from that burden, I opened up to the community and started connecting with incredible people in my frequency.”
Nick: “It was 2021. A difficult time for me, when all my energy was spent on caring for others. My brother insisted I tried a “healing massage” from an energy worker. It was my first edging session. I experienced cathartic surrender and prolonged expansive orgasm without ejaculation.
My understanding of sexuality was deeply challenged. I discovered the works of Mantak Chia, then started practicing semen retention and Taoist approaches to energy. It made me understand edging as a form of self care and healing.”
Learning how to edge is about having the best explosive, connected, mindblowing sex possible. When you experience this, it sets a new standard. Edging is an unconventional way of navigating sex. It can only be achieved by being present. Sharing this journey with someone else is about giving each other attention and care, often in ways that are not traditionally romantic.
Traditional sex education focuses on risk reduction, STIs and control. It never teaches us about pleasure, connection or intimacy. Edging might look unassuming but it develops insight and self knowledge around these concepts. That’s why we chose to go with the “bate school” approach for this issue.
Having laid the groundwork here, we’ll be back in May to turn the heat up! We’ll explore themes like ball stretching, popper bating, gooning, pits, feet, hypno and types of bate coaching in our Kink and Body Worship issue. Until then. Happy bating!
— DoubleA & Nick Woof