Bating together in-person is a fun way of making friends. It’s about helping each other cum and hanging out together. First, you need to find a bate buddy. Look for bators on apps or online platforms (See Zine #2 for more on this). But what to do after you find them?
Stage 1: Warm Up
Once you’ve found a bud, the soul of a good bate is comfort. A good session is usually about 2-3 hours long. The energy fluctuates from casual to intense, with breaks and laughing in-between. You should feel at ease around each other. A good warm-up makes way for what’s to come.
- 1.1 Share ideas for play: Talk, maybe over a beer. About how you got into bating, what you’re into. Discuss boundaries: kissing or no kissing, how much time you have, 420, poppers, etc.
- 1.2 Start stroking and teasing: Get comfortable, underwear on the couch works great. Telling each other horny stories while you rub over your underwear can get it going. Porn works too.
Stage 2: Edge
Edging is a cycle. The energy goes up and down. The play dynamic might shift between mutual play and coach/sub roles. From appreciating each other’s bate to more hands-on edging each other. A deep session means experiencing everything together. Speak openly, take breaks. Start again and mix it up.
- 2.1 Build the edge: Face each other. Appreciate what turns you on —flexing, pits, feet. Be verbal about it. Moan if it feels good. Get closer. Take turns edging each other. Talk about what you want. Experiment. Enjoy.
- 2.2 Ride the edge! As you get close, your body tenses up. Release that energy —stop touching yourself, take deep breaths. Spread it out — pull on balls, touch your nips, flex. Signal your bud —Slow! Or Stop! Take some distance if you must.
Stage 3: Orgasm(s)
Intense edging sessions can bring forth mind-blowing orgasms. However, orgasm isn’t that important. After edging for hours and several peaks of pleasure, cumming is just icing on the cake. Decide to cum or not to, ask your buddy the same. Depending on the session, you could even shoot several times.
- 3a I wanna blow! (again) Tell your buddy how you want to finish —let’s go deep and shoot together, cum on my cock and I’ll use it as lube, wanna milk it out of me, bro?— Get as creative as you want. Some can cum multiple times in a session!
- 3b I’ll save it: Maybe you’re saving your load, or had so many peaks you feel like you came already. Only cum if you feel like it. Do help your buddy out if he wants to, teamwork is part of bator culture.
Stage 4: Afterglow
Feeling comfortable doesn’t end when you cum. Don’t rush to get dressed. You are bros and this made you closer. If you enjoyed it, show appreciation and genuinely connect. The bate bud relationship is usually more bromantic than romantic. More on this in Zine 4.
- 4.1 Enjoy the buzz: Take some time to enjoy the post session buzz and show appreciation. Hang out a bit longer if you have the time.
- 4.2 Keep in touch: You had a good time together, don’t be strangers. Stay in touch and give each other good energy. You are buds now. Consider sharing other sessions or inviting other bros to join.